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Paso Robles's Best Prepaid Restaurants that are most frequently booked by customers of Six Test Kitchen Paso Robles
Ranked #7 in Paso Robles's Best Prepaid Restaurants.
😒 3/5 - You walk through the door and you're in a nice suburban
By 👻 @B_ M., 02/27/2024 3:00 am
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You walk through the door and you're in a nice suburban hotel room finished in the shade of grey they use to sell houses to millennials. There's an open kitchen surrounded in an L shape by a hardwood bar and bar stools. Even though you prepaid for the entire meal, everyone seems startled to see you. They don't say hi till you do. You're shown to your seats by the sommelier. It will later turn out that the sizeable gratuity you prepaid does not cover service staff, as it's the kitchen staff who serve you your food. They mill around like manicurists tweezing microherbs and microflowers onto the dishes, and when they bring them to you from the kitchen three feet away they're hard to hear over the FM rock the chef has chosen as a soundtrack. The friendly lady sat next to you turns out to be the chef's mom. There is no 'drinks menu', just a wine list. The only nonalcoholic option is a San Pellegrino soda that has to be specially requested. This is the central coast, remember. The meal starts with a misfire, a citrus tea with an unwelcome smack of lavender. Highlights after that are a bonbon-like blob of paté, a chawanmushi that falls just short of being oversalted, and a deeply delightful sequence of desserts, some of the best you've had. Lowlights are the meat entrées, Lilliputian morsels of chicken and pork made to seem even smaller by the satellite-sized plates they're served on. Like a meal from a doll's house. They have the faintly slimy, moist but firm texture of uncooked meat without actually being uncooked. Or so you hope. All in all, the hit rate is about 50%. There is a certain tension in the idea of a local cuisine prepared in a style that's dictated by European tastemakers. The mushrooms might be foraged on a mountain in southeastern SLO, but the style is recognisable as a third-hand version of what you'd find in any Michelin-starred dining room in any global city. The ingredients might speak a local dialect, but the dishes speak globish. Which is another way of saying that most of what is wrong with this restaurant is wrong because of its star. This is a pricy place to eat, but it feels even more expensive than it is, because the food is not what you're paying for. What you're paying for is to be put in proximity with a European system of taste in which it is unsophisticated to be hungry. But that proximity is purely aesthetic. And food isn't just aesthetic. You can't eat beauty.
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